Sherrien's Space

It seems to be a time for thank-giving for me. It also seems to be something my Heavenly Father wants me to learn now. Yes, I have so many things to be thankful for. I thank God for giving me a good family and parents to grow up in. They have given me so much but ask for so little. I thank God for given me so many friends, brothers and sisters who give me comfort and support in difficult time (and share all the joys in my life). I thank God for given me health and the food I enjoy. I know all these food come from His land and the hard-work of farmers. I thank for God given me this planet which support us with its resources and reveals to us its beauty.

原來這一切都是　神所給我們的禮物，因祂愛我們，所以給我們的生活加上這些姿彩。這些是白白給我們，但也不一定要給我們的，但神給了我們。換句話說，我們沒有主權，也不是我們控制之內的。那我們如何對待這些禮物呢？最近看了Supper of the Lamb一書，作者認為既然這都是神所給的禮物，我們便要好好的了解他們的特質，好好的和他們相處，不是改變他們使他們乎合自己的心意，而是使他們更能發揮他們自己的特性，和愛護他們，因神這些都是神在創造中看為是好的，都是祂所愛的。

These are all gifts from God because of His love to us. He gives us for free so that we can enjoy a colorful life. In other words, He does not need to give us. It is not something to be taken for granted. We have no control in whether we can have these gifts or not. How then should we handle these gifts? I am impressed by a book called which I read recently. The author understands all he enjoyed in his lift is gifts from God. Therefore, he maintains that we should understand their uniqueness and encounter their real selves. We should not distort them to suit our taste, instead we should let them express their full potential and care them as themselves, because these are all seen as good in God’s creation and they are all loved by God.

在路加福音17:16-19中，耶穌對那回來感謝祂醫治的麻瘋病人說：『你的信使你痊癒』，我感到很奇怪，你會不會對你所幫過的人這樣說呢？我們最多會說「不用客氣」。原來這份感謝接連的是給神當得的榮耀，那不是說我們再一次肯定我們所有的都是出於神，我們是接受恩典的。我們在這感恩中再一次修正我們和人、事與物的關係，和神的關係，我們沒有能力爭取，就如我們不能選擇我們的父母，他們也不能控制我們的樣式。這份了解可以讓我們不需再一天到晚幻想自己可以如何控制自己的際遇，更不需因幻想的幻滅而失望或者後悔，也不需因不能控制未來的事需懼怕和担心，因我們的生命在這位充滿愛的神手中，於是我們自由了！可以好好欣賞我們的生命，我們旁邊的人，我們所處的地方，可以再一次好好的面對自己，所以這一個回來多謝耶穌的人，他的痊癒和其他沒回來的人可能不同，他是整個人(well-being)的痊癒，由心底最深處感受到神真正的拯救…

In Luke 17:16-19, Jesus told the leprosy patient who came back to give thank, “Your faith has made you well.” Originally, I felt puzzled by this phrase. This isn’t something we will say when somebody thanks us. We will at most say, “You’re welcome.”Then, it turns out that give-thanks is to recognize God’s glory. It is a way to confirm that what we are enjoying is from God and we are the receivers of His grace. We correct our relationship with people and things, most of all with God. We learn through the experience that we have no ability to gain what we have. For example, we have no power to select our parents, neither parents choosing our outlook. As such, we don’t need to imagine days and nights of the thousands ways to make our life better, neither will we be disappointed or regretted things turn out different from out wish, nor do we need to be afraid and worried of the unpredictable future. We are in the hands of the loving Creators. We are free by Him! We can appreciate our lives, people around us and the place we lived in, we can face ourselves honestly without fear. Therefore, the one who comes back to thank Jesus heals in different way. He is a healing of his whole well-being. Deep in his heart, he experiences and understands the real salvation of God.

電影中兩個男孩在窮民區成長，都是印度的貶民，他們的生命對社會來說沒有多大的價值，即或是有，也是成為別人的賺錢工具，沒有人當他們是人看待。成為乞丐或妓女是這些小孩的生存機會。兩個男孩都想有好的生活，但生命卻有很不同的主題。

哥哥希望有錢、有權力，除了弟弟之外，沒有一個人能令他起憐憫之心，他以金錢和權力作他生命的定義，第一次用槍的感覺更令他感受到高高在上的感覺，希望得到更多，最後不惜加入黑幫。他生命中不是沒有正義的時刻，救他弟弟、兩次救弟弟的愛人，那種把生死置之度外的姿態真的很英勇。來到生命的終結時，他有很多錢，足以裝滿一個浴缸，但這些曾令他朝思暮想的錢，最後成了他的棺材。

弟弟對錢沒有多大感覺，他之所以能在遊戲節目中勝出，成為億萬富翁，不是因為他聰明。他的故事和世界充滿了人與人之間的感情，和媽媽的、和兄弟的、和他愛人的、和朋友的、和同事的。他希望有好的生活是因為他所關愛的人。最後，能令他答對所有問題的．．．不是因為他聰明，更不可能因為他讀書多，而是因為那些根本就是他的故事，是他的世界。或者可以說，他在未擁有財富前，他已很富有。

那你以甚麼作你人生的定義呢？錢？權力？性？還是『愛』？或許在弟弟的身上我們可以看得清楚一點甚麼叫真正的愛。

他回答：“你要全心、全性、全力、全意愛主你的　神，並且要愛鄰舍如同自己。” 耶穌說：“你答得對，你這樣行，就必得生命。”(路加福音　10:27-28)

It’s a movie showing the lives of two boys. They are in the lowest cast of India. Their lives do not worth anything to other people. Their lives have no security. They can do anything just for survival. Rubbish is their companion. In other eyes, they sometimes have value! But it is only when they are useful as a tool to earn money. They are not treated as human. Becoming beggars or prostitutes may be their only ways to survive and having a better life!

Two boys surviving the massacre had very different definition of life. The elder brother dreamed for better life with money and power. Having a gun let him tasted the taste of power. Wanting to earn more, he joined the gangster and worked for the biggest gangster in town. He did anything to earn money and power. However, he did have his heroic moments. Saving his brother once and his brother’s lover twice in a fearless way did show his heroic personality. Yet, the urge towards money and power finally led to his death in a full bathtub of money!

The younger brother did not care about money much. If he wanted a better life, it is just because he wants his beloveds to be happy. Even when he joined the Millionaire show, he did it out of love. His life was full of his relationship between different people – mother, brother, friends, lover, colleagues…. It was his key to the questions given by the MC of the show. It is not because he was smart, neither because he had high level of academic achievement. He was telling his life in the show. His love gives him the answer to life. Before he had money, he was already rich.

What defines your life? Money? Power? Sex? Or “Love”? Maybe through the eyes of the younger brother, we can have a better understanding about love.

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” (Luke 10:27-28)

話說第二次的講道我一直找不到經文，直到有一天，　神讓我看以賽亞書55:1-5，看了，我竟感到掙扎。有朋友問我，是不是我不接受因信稱義呢？那當然不是，但我看到的是　神藉著先知告訴我，這世界上有白白得來的飲食！

我很記得我以前有一個老闆經常說：「這世界沒有免費午餐！」不是嗎？大人們不是從小便告訴我們，要成績好便要努力讀書，要成功便要努力工作，要幸福便要自己爭取！原來這想法已成了我的一部份，甚至信了主，好像有形無形地也把事奉和神的愛掛了鈎。我事奉多一點，可能神會愛我多一點，可能我不事奉，祂給我的恩典會少一點？

　 但這經文告訴我,事實不是這樣，先知在這裏描繪了一個好像市集的地方，是的，只有在市集人才要叫嚷，因以色列的市集就如香港的露天街市，是個嘈雜的地方。想想你在那兒會聽到：『快啲嚟睇，快啲嚟揀，抵買抵食，平通街呀，只做今日！』但是誰在經文中叫賣呢？是我們的　神，是　耶和華，祂知道人的心，我們有很多的掛慮，多得好像市集一樣嘈雜，就如那時的以色列人，他們那時已在巴比倫的手下，離開了他們的迦南美地，遠離了嗎哪的日子，那　神不斷供應的日子，現在，他們要努力的工作才能生存下來，他們的世界沒有了免費的午餐。在沒有了安全感的世界中，心中難免多了不少担心，走路愈來愈快，眼只向地下，想著自己的事。

神很希望我們聽到祂要說的，你可以想像嗎？　神好像小販般叫嚷，　祂說：『你口渴嗎？我有最好的水。你餓了嗎？我有奶給你。』但最令人吃驚的是…　你不用給我錢，也不用付出任何代價，你只需過來「看」（原文中有「看」字）和「來」。這都是白白給你的，而這些也是最能令你滿足的，因　神知道你需要身體和心靈的滿足。有趣的是，我們大部份時間都以為我們知道我們需要甚麼，於是我們不斷走出去，向外找…

有人找事業，希望成功後，他能有自己的「皇國」，那便不用再受人氣，不再受制。

有人找學業，相信知識改變命運，那便可以控制自己的命運。

有人找金錢，希望擁有自己所想要的，便可一無所缺，不再貧乏。

有人找愛情，希望能在別人的愛中得到心靈的滿足。

有人找家庭，希望在家中找到肯定和安全感。

有人找事奉，不自覺中，希望自己的事奉成功後能得到更多的恩典！

但是，很快我們便會發現我們想得到比已經得到的更多，不斷向外找，找到的卻永沒法滿足心底那缺乏甚麼的感覺，仍感到口渴、不飽足，那便繼續努力吧！慢慢地，我們成了這些需要的奴僕，被它們控制。

但　神叫停了我們的思緒，「喂！不是這樣的，你不知道，我會以這些來祝福你，但我比你更清楚你所要的，你不要再掛慮，只要來，看一看，我已給你預備真正能滿足我們。不是遠在未來，而時現在，我預備了不但令你身體上可以得到滿足，你心最深處的渴求我都能滿足。這是沒有帶條件的，也是最完全的。」我們的缺乏或努力都沒有更改神對我們完全的愛。

但我們的缺乏安全感卻使我們聽不到祂的愛，就如以色列人，在成長中，他們忘了　神曾給他們的恩惠，慢慢開始以自己的方法得到滿足，最後成了別人的奴僕，又開始看不到　神的愛。所以　神叫他們側耳而聽，原文很具體的說是「把你的耳朵給我」，中國人會說：「拉直你的耳朵」，小朋友一聽到，便知道大人要說很重要的事。沒錯！神要說很重要的事，而那是和我們如何生活有關的，和我們的生命有關的！

祂說： 『我必與你們立永遠的約，就是應許賜給大衛的那確實的慈愛。』這是和大衛立的約，到今天仍生效，那便是　神要以祂永遠的慈愛和恩慈來對你，這是已經給了你的，即使有一天你會好像以色列人般迷失，沒有人能拿走　祂的愛，只要你在回頭，你便可以看見　祂那温柔的雙手。這種完全的愛，卻又是我們沒有能力再花一分一亳可以加增的，在我們以為在事奉　祂之前，祂已經愛你，　祂已經把我們升高，立我們作首領，作司令。

祂不是也這樣說嗎？　祂叫我們去召聚我們不認識的國，但真正使列國奔向我們的是　耶和華自己，因祂是聖者，即祂已勝過所有，所有轄制我們和使我們沒法自由的力量，而我們在這世上是見證祂的愛和得勝。

願這無條件的愛也祝福你的生命，當我預備這文章的時候，我心一直唱著張國榮的＜追＞。^^

（文章由四月初的講道經文改編。）

1 唉！口渴的人哪！你們都就近水來吧。沒有銀錢的，你們也要來，買了就吃。你們要來，買酒和奶，不用銀子，也不用付代價。 2 你們為甚麼用銀子去買那不是食物的呢？為甚麼用你們勞碌得來的去買那不能使人飽足的呢？你們要留心聽我的話，就可以吃美物，使你們的心靈享受肥甘。 3 你們要側耳而聽，要到我這裡來；你們要聽，就可以存活；我必與你們立永遠的約，就是應許賜給大衛的那確實的慈愛。 4 看哪！我已經立了他作萬族的見證人，為萬族的首領和司令。 5 看哪！你要召聚你不認識的國；那些素來不認識你的國也必奔向你，都因耶和華你的　神、以色列的聖者的緣故，因為他已經榮耀了你。

Again and again, He promises His presence and protection in storm and on the journey of following him (Luke 8:21 – 25). And this time, it is nothing less. It shocked my world. The free grace of God sounds easy to understand and accept. It is the foundation of our belief. However, I didn’t realize how contradictory this is to my own worldview. In my world, I believe that I need to be good in order to be loved and have a happy life. “There is no free lunch in the world” is what I have always been told. But, these days, in my devotions and prayers, God is telling me something different. He said, “Comes, my grace has been given with no condition! I have already won over the world and the things you are most afraid of!” (Isa 55:1-5) It amazes me because it makes me realize how little I trust God will really give me happiness!

Sense of insecurity… fears, frustration and disappointment… Yes, these are the burdens we have carried with us… our crosses. God lets me face myself in different settings and with different persons! Believed it or not, He uses movie, book, devotion, conversation, and psychological assessments! From all these, I know He is really living with me and knows me. I’m so grateful of God’s insistence in blessing and healing.

What next? I don’t know but my doubt of His good intent to me has gradually gone and my trust to Him increases.

Letting go of your fear and reaching out to others in God’s love.

早陣子有同學介紹我看美國的電視劇Heros，於是便開始了追看，老實說，自己只看了兩、三集，題材都算新鮮吸引。故事是說主角們因一位科學家的DNA實驗，而能使用一般未能使用的腦部其餘切80%，繼而得到不同的超能力，而這些主角在故事中要拯救這個世界。

昨晚失眠，想起了這部電視劇，發現故事的重心可能不是超能力有多神奇，編劇用了很多筆墨描述主角們發現自己有超能力時的confusion，有超能力後的寂寞和痛。好像一個有不死身的女孩，雖然不會死，卻不斷經歷受傷和死亡的痛。另外有一個能預知未來的畫家（先知？），雖能比我們早一些知道未來，卻未能改變命運，令他要靠毒品麻醉自己。他們所擁有的能力可能是不少人所想要的，他們看上去似是高人一等，事實上比一般人更寂寞，更破碎，他們和我們一樣等著一份能信任、了解和接受他們的軟弱及他們整個人的愛。

即使你和我如何不同，即使你看我有多好，我看你又有多好，我們都有自己的痛，我們都等待著這份全然的愛。希望大家在地上能經歷這好得本來屬天的愛。

Not long ago, my classmates introduced me to Heroes, an American TV series. It was how I started watching the series. Honestly, I just watched a few episodes. The story is interesting and attractive. It’s about how a group of people gets to use their remaining 80% of their brains, which is normally not accessible for normal people after an experiment by a scientist. As such, they get different super-power. In the story, they need to save the world with their super-power.

Last night I had trouble sleeping, then I started thinking about the story. I start to wonder if the focus is on those super-powers. The screenwriter has used a lot of effort to describe the confusion when the characters discovered their super-power, as well as, the loneliness and pain afterward. For example, there is a girl in the story who can never die. Although she won’t die, she needs to experience repeatedly the pain of being hurt and death. Another artist can foretell future (phrophet?). However, the helplessness of unable to make a different with the future leads him to become a drug-addict. No matter how good they look and how desirable the abilities seem to be for others, inwardly, they are lonelier and even more broken than normal people. Just as us, they long for a love that can be trusted, can understand and accept their vulnerabilities and everything of them.

No matter how different we are and our circumstances are; how much better do you think I am than you or I think you are than me; we all have our struggles and pains. We all long for the perfect love that can sooth us from the pain and struggle of life. I wish all of us can experience this Heavenly love on Earth.